We are instruments.

It's really easy to be negative, bitter, and angry. 

I have a really neat print on my wall of a prayer, it always hits me in the face in the best possible way whenever I look at it. 

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. 
Where this is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy. 

O Divine Master, 
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled 
as to console;
to be understood as to understand; 
to be loved as to love. 
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, 
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

-- Prayer of St. Francis 

It isn't all about us my friends, it's give and take. Everyday we are given choices and situations that give us the opportunity to act in love or to do otherwise. Love someone today. 

Pictures from lately.

Pain, friends, five things and simple joys.

We live in a society where we're used to comfort and convenience.
Most people pop some sort of pill anytime anything on our body hurts or feels uncomfortable; or we just complain about it.  The world we live in today makes it so easy to complain, we can tweet about it or tell the world on Facebook.
I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm not guilty, because I am.
We all go through trials and we all have choices. The pain and discomfort you experience may be totally different than that of the people in your life.

"But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world....No doubt pain as God's megaphone is a terrible instrument; it may lead to final and unrepented rebellion. But it gives the only opportunity the bad man can have for amendment. it removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of the rebel soul.”-- C.S. Lewis

I heard a friend quote that recently and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind since.
Pain sucks. I could put it a little bit more delicately, but I'm not going to.
As it says above, pain places an opportunity in your lap. You get to make the choice in how you deal with it, it's not going to be easy. Sometimes you may have to figuratively pull yourself to your feet when you're flat on your face. This is where people come in, allow yourself to be fully loved by the people placed in your path. Sometimes those same people may have to help pull you to your feet and that's alright. You're going to be ok, especially when you know that you're not alone.

I'm going to end this with something I heard when I was in college and it's stuck with me.
At the end of every day, no matter how much it stunk. Write out five positive things that happened that day, even if they're super silly. (ex. I had a really awesome cup of coffee today.)
At the end of the day as you're typing those or writing them out, you'll smile.
The pain may still be there, but in those moments you'll remember some simple joys.
In the midst of pain and hard times let yourself have those joys, you deserve every last one of them.

new beginnings, ashes, and church pews.

So I've been talking about starting a blog for quite awhile. So to begin this journey, let me introduce myself.

I'm Emily Joy, I'm starting this blog because I don't want to forget. I already keep a paper journal but a lot of times I go all scatter-brain and I forget to write down things. I have a feeling that writing publicly will help me in that area, a lot of what I write will be very raw and real. This is a place where I'm going to talk a lot about my relationship with my Lord, my loves, my struggles, and my fitness journey.


Today is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent. Numerous times in the Old Testament people put on sackcloth and ashes; which was typically a sign of mourning and distress. That's the closest thing we get as a biblical foundation for Ash Wednesday. But let me tell you my story and how Ash Wednesday affected me as a young child and why it remains close to my heart today.

For most of my school years I went to a Lutheran school. So every Wednesday I'd sit in an uncomfortable wooden pew, twirl my long blonde hair and trace the stained glass windows with my tiny fingers. I was a nine  year old, I had no patience in chapel. But I remembered in past years that I liked my little ash cross placed so delicately on my forehead, I wore it around the neighborhood after school like a badge of honor. So this year I decided that I'd listen to every word the pastor said, I was determined to know why I got to wear a little black cross on my forehead for a day.

So I sat in the uncomfortable pew, my skinny legs swinging back and forth. We sing a hymn or two, pray, and then comes the pastor's sermon. I focus in on him and start to lose interest quickly then I hear the pastor telling the story of Adam and Eve, "Hey! I know this one", I think to myself. I'd already heard that story more than times than I could count but that day I felt it, at the deepest part of my nine year old being. I saw them trying to hide their shame in the garden that day, running from tree to tree to shield themselves. I began to cry, not stray tears either. . . I wept that afternoon. I was a bad person, I was flawed, and in that moment I felt shameful for everything I had done.

Then a few minutes later the Pastor talked about how the story didn't end there, that Jesus came to Earth for every person in that room. Through him and His sacrifice we were made new. That those dirty, murky, black ashes didn't just represent our flaws, they represented a new beginning through a man that came here to die for each of us. Which by that age I already knew who Jesus was, I went to church multiple times a week. But that afternoon it all became real for me, while the adults took communion I sat there in my pew whispering to Jesus how glad I was that he came here to die.  I asked for forgiveness, for Him to always be in my heart and I thanked Him for loving me. (Even if I did act up in chapel and spent almost half of them tracing windows or talking to my neighbor.)

So today, I'll sit in the same uncomfortable pews I did as a girl. . . and I'm so short that my legs will still swing. I'll sit there and sing the hymns, look at the stained glass windows that were my favorite distraction, but most all I'll remember why I'm there.  Honestly, I'll probably cry. But I'm so grateful for being washed clean daily, I'm so glad that I'm loved and accepted. I've been brought so far and I think a lot that has to do with that Ash Wednesday all those years ago.  So even though I'm not Lutheran, I'll always observe Ash Wednesday and Lent.

So it's official, I'm a blogger. Something I claimed I'd never be, but all of that aside. 

I think I'm going to like it here. 

Also my friends at Hotlife Clothing are releasing their new line today at 2pm EST. All shirts are printed here in the USA by some of the best folks! Check it out!

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